Sunday, April 14, 2013

the truth about depression.

my heart aches for you this morning.

yes you - the broken, the lost, the afflicted.

waking up every morning, taking everything in you to get out of bed and up into the world that continues to break you down until you feel like you have nothing left. 

putting on that smile, even when everything hurts.

telling them you’re fine, when fine is the last thing you are feeling. 

thankful for sleep because sleep means you don’t have to face this cruel world. 

why do you feel this way when friends are there and family is present and blessings are abundant but somehow you are blind to them. 
why do you feel like you are nothing when you are loved by the One who is everything. 
i hurt for you. because i’ve been there.
i went to bed wishing i wouldn’t wake up. 

and the worst part is, you don’t know why. 

i got up every morning with everything i had and went through the day like a mindless zombie with a fake smile and knowing it would take more than the makeup to cover up my brokenness. 

and i didn’t know why i felt that way.

i didn’t know where all this pain was coming from, all of the lies pouring into my mind like rushing water, like an endless storm that clouded any truth that i knew. 

i didn’t know what led me to the scars, to friends calling me crazy and leaving me in a cloud of dust that never seemed to settle. 

what i didn’t know was that depression is real and can attack your mind in a way that cripples you. 

and when we hear that word, depression, we think of the crazies and the cuts and suicide letters that clutter the definition of this so-called disease.

but it is. 

in the words of Ann Voskamp, depression is “a cancer that attacks the mind”, and how can you focus on truth when your own mind is against you? 

how can you hear truth when the one thing that processes the truth is feeding you lies?

how do you escape the pain when you’re numb and the only way to feel is to self-inflict so you can just feel something?

it’s tough.

it’s hard and it’s real and it’s not going away.

depression is a disease that we all know of and hear about but don’t want to accept. 

depression is breaking people down, rolling them over with lies over and over again. 

depression hurts. and it cuts deeply and digs deeper until the only way out is to jump. 

“depression is like a room engulfed in flames and you can’t breathe for the sooty smoke smothering you limp — and suicide is deciding there is no way but to jump straight out of the burning building.”

listen to me friend,

there is hope. 

people may tell you you’re crazy and the doctor might make you feel worthless and the world may walk out on you, but there is hope. 

depression should not define you. 

the cuts should not shame you. 

your thoughts of escaping this world are not crazy. 

but hear this...

you are not alone. 
there is a God who is fighting for you, whose Word is waiting for you, who goes with you wherever you go and has gone before you. 

that means He has been in the dark. 

that means He sees your pain, feels your pain, and He wants those burdens.

“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”  (Matt. 11:28)

rest in this truth. 

it is okay to get help. 

open wounds need cleaning, broken bones need casting, a broken mind needs healing. 

you are not a weaker person because of it. 

but remember this, medicine can heal, but it cannot heal everything.

it cannot heal a broken heart, erase hurtful words, or fix broken spirits. 

but it can help get you back on your feet, see clearer, feel again. and from there it’s your turn. 

only you can choose seek truth.

only you can choose to move forward.

only you can choose to read and soak up His Word and pray for His presence and be so wrapped up in Him that the lies cannot reach you. 

that is your choice. 

be freed from the lies and the hurt not by hiding, but by abiding. 

be freed from the chains that bind not by closing your fists but opening your hands. 

be freed by releasing the burdens not by cutting but by lifting them up to Jesus. 

be free. 

be free to love and be loved, to live in your identity as a child of God and not as a mental case. 

because that is not who you are. 

you are loved. valued. freed by the Cross

be free. 

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